


Don't Worry

by IRegretNothingAndEverything



Series: Trans Autistic Reid [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Spencer Reid, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Im worried about tagging, M/M, Supportive Derek, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Transgender Reid, i dont understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 06:55:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9060895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IRegretNothingAndEverything/pseuds/IRegretNothingAndEverything
Summary: First storyReid is worried about telling the most important person about something important, only to find he already knows





	

Reid bounced his leg, eyes darting around the bullpen, even though he had already looked around 15, now 16, times and knew he was alone. He was twirling a pen in his hands, which wasn't uncommon with him, but the reason behind it was. 

Morgan and Reid had recently started a relationship, one that Reid had wished for for years. They were great in every aspect they could be together, other than one. Derek would start getting a little handsy during a make out session, but, even though Spencer really wanted it, he would inevitably stop him, seeing as he had yet to tell Derek on of his biggest secret. 

He had meant to for ages, he would swear to himself, but never got around to it, due to cases, or they didn't have time together to say anything or a list of other reasons as to why he never said a word. But the truth was, Spencer was scared to. He was a genius at reading other people, but when it came to adding himself into the mix and how others would react to him, then it was impossible for him to figure it out. 

Spencer would try to, but he would clam up and hide off in a room to stop a meltdown before he could say anything, simply due to the fear of what Derek might say. The entire time Derek had always thought of Spencer as male, and, while it was true, physically, Spencer Reid had all the part of a female. He never said a word to anyone, since he was always seen of as a male, so he saw no reason to say anything. Until now, of course. 

"Pretty Boy?" 

Spencer jumped slightly at Morgan's voice, spinning around to look at him, eyes wide. "Morgan! Hi..."

"You alright?" Derek had the worried tilt in his eyebrows, the one that always gave away what he was feeling at that moment in time. 

"Uh..." For a moment, Spencer knew that he had a way to tell him at that moment, but at work? No, he couldn't do that. No one at work knew about this yet, but he could lead it in. His hands started shaking slightly. 

"Alright, how about we get you home and you tell me about whatever it is bothering your mind, alright?" Derek took his arm firmly, but gently, pulling him up out of the seat, also reaching behind Spencer and picking up the bag that lay discarded next to the chair and slinging it over his shoulder. Spencer nodded numbly, starting to chew on the bottom of the pen that he had earlier been twirling.

He could feel his feet moving, but Spencer didn't register that he had been led down to a car until the door was opened and Derek was leading him to sit. Spencer sighed softly, and buckled himself, blushing lightly at the kiss that Derek pressed to the side of his head. Even if he didn't say anything, Derek made him calmer, just by being there for him, without even realizing what he was doing. That was another thing that he had to tell him. Jeez, Spencer didn't realize just how much he had kept from the team.

The car started and he jumped slightly again, looking over at Derek, who was snickering softly. "Gotta get out of your head more often Pretty Boy. I loose you too often to that mind of yours." 

Spencer sighed softly, closing his eyes. Without even meaning too, he imagined the ways that this conversation could go.

"Derek, I uh... It's kinda important to tell you this, seeing as we're in a relationship and all... I-I'm transgender..." 

He knew he would ramble a bit before that point in the conversation, but in his mind, the conversation could go a few ways. 

"So... You have female bits?" 

"Yes. But I want to be male..." 

"That's... a little weird to be springing on me this far in, but... I think I can deal with it. You're still gonna be my Pretty Boy." 

That was the best case scenario in his mind. The others were worse and stemmed from his mind screaming that everything could and would go wrong. 

"So, you have female bits?" 

"Yes, but I-" 

"So you're a chick?"

"Well, I mean, physically, but I'm planning on the transition surgery soon..." 

"That's... a little fucked up to be springing this on me this late in the game, Spencer." 

There were a few where it got pretty nasty, and as his mind went to those ways, he started getting twitchy again, until he was keening softly under his breath to calm himself. 

Spencer felt the car stop moving, and his eyes flew open. They weren't home yet. Derek had pulled over to the side of the road. 

"Spence, I know you wanted to talk at home, but I can hear you over there and it's killing me. What wrong?" 

His hands found a loose thread and started pulling on it instinctively, but it wasn't enough. Almost like clockwork, his hand went up to his hair and started tugging softly. Quickly, Spencer unbuckled himself so that he could bring his knees up to his chest, still tugging at his hair. 

Derek leaned over and gently wrapped his arms around him, shifting so that he could reach him and still be comfortable. "Hey, hey, talk to me Pretty Boy." 

The nickname, for whatever reason, made him realize he wasn't alone, that he had Derek there just in case, and, without thinking, blurted out in a rush. 

"I'm transgender, but I didn't want to say anything because I was worried about your reaction, and I'm getting the surgeries soon to be male, but I understand if you want to break up with me and-"

"Reid, babe, I already knew."

"-I just... wait what?" 

Derek smiled. "You can't hide used pads from me, Pretty Boy." 

"O-oh..." Spencer blushed lightly and rubbed his eyes slightly. "So I've been... and you never..."

"You've been panicking for no reason, yes, and no, I didn't say anything because I thought you would tell me when you were ready to." Derek smiled and kissed his forehead. 

"So... You're okay with it?" Spencer smiled hesitantly. 

"Of course I am." Derek cupped his cheeks. "I love you, no matter what the hell you got going on in your pants, alright?"

Spencer smiled and kissed him quickly. "Thank you."

Derek smiled and settled back into the driver's seat, pulling back into the street. Spencer smiled slightly and closed his eyes, emotionally exhausted, and fell asleep, no longer worried about what Derek would say about him and his mismatched body. He didn't stir when Derek carried him into the house, or when he was changed into pajamas, or even when Derek curled around his sleeping body. He stayed asleep, even as Derek kissed his forehead, mumbling a small praise to him before they both were asleep, cuddling together like they were the only two people in the world.


End file.
